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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes)
Bright Eyes smiled, her one good eye fixing upon her love as she flew in toward the cafe. All her hard work as a mail pony... All of the flying through rain, hail, wind, and even snow makes it worth it for this one moment. This moment of bliss when it was just her and her lover.

The other ponies could never understand the love she feels when with him. To them, she's just the silly pony with the mental issues. But he never judges her. He never makes fun of her. He is always there to comfort her when she is at her lowest.

She leans forward, her lips gently kissing the top of the his mushroomed flare. Her tongue flicks across it, causing her to let out an involuntary moan as the taste sends fiery tingles down her spine. She mustn't rush this moment... No... Every second with him feels like an eternity at this point. She trails her tongue along the rim of the flare now, a shudder of anticipation rolling over her equine body as her tongue begins to trail down lower...

She lets out a groan of pleasure, calling out his name in ecstasy almost involuntarily. Reaching forward with her hooves, she grips his bottom and peels the tight covering off to reveal his form fully to her gaze. Tossing the covering over her shoulder, she knew in her heart the others in the plaza were watching her now... Their aghast eyes glued to her lewd display as her tongue danced across his now stripped body to taste EVERY inch. But she didn't care anymore at this point, so lost in her lustful experience. They didn't matter anymore; it was just her and her love. And right now, she needed to feel him fill her mouth.

The grey pegasus opens her muzzle as she starts to take him ever so deep inside. She gags slightly from the size and width... But thanks to her years of practice, she soon feels his warmth and girth fill her muzzle completely. This is the moment she craves. This is the moment when she feels fulfilled and at peace. Sitting in the middle of Ponyville, her muzzle full of him, and getting ready to swallow as everyone watched... Everyone saw her for what she really was...

And then, all too soon, the pleasure hits its climax as the warmth slides down her throat. She starts to swallow, trying to not waste any of this gift from him as the warmth fills her belly completely. she looks up with a satisfied look as the final traces of him remain smeared across her face. Let the others joke or make fun of her all they want... This animalistic moment where she uses and is used by him publically is what makes her happy. Leaving her full and messy, yet happy once again to have fulfilled this fantasy...


Twilight Sparkle tsked and shook her head. "Derpy, what is wrong with you! Look at you, you're a mess." Using her magic, she picked up a cloth to begin wiping the crumbs off from around the grey pegasus's muzzle. "Honestly, Derpy, you are always such a noisy and messy eater! Can't you just eat like a normal pony?"

The grey pegasus just gives Twilight a goofy grin as she tilts her head to the left questioningly. "Muffins?"
This is bad, and I feel bad!

I just wrote this on a lark to warm me up for finishing the more serious FlutterMac OTP Romance. Pygmy helped me edit it up to be somewhat worth uploading. He feels bad, too.
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:iconrilator:
rilator Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Student Artist
at first i was like well thi should be good. then i was like ok i should turn this off now. wtf i cant turn it off oh my god thats just... wait a minute? this is... oh ok i get it now. yes i wouldnt have figured out the first part if it weren t for my sisters dirty mind corrupting mine. GAAAH! I NEED PURIFICATION POWDER!
Reply
:iconxxawesomesauc3xx:
Xxawesomesauc3xX Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
Why does the beginning say Bright Eyes and not Derpy Hooves?
Reply
:icon9ogo:
9ogo Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012
so lemme get this straight, she had oral sex with some stallion, in public?.....i wanna go to equestria....
Reply
:iconroygbiv-mlp:
RoyGBiv-MLP Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012
No, she ate a muffin... Sheesh, such a dirty mind.
Reply
:icon9ogo:
9ogo Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012
oops sorry, posted before the end :3 my bad
Reply
:iconseverepwner:
Severepwner Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2012
Made me lol.
Reply
:iconrainbowdasher29:
Rainbowdasher29 Featured By Owner May 29, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
I like how you didn't let on that it was a muffin. I actually thought it was...you know. Don't feel bad!
Reply
:iconpinklopunny13:
Pinklopunny13 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ikr. I was so confused, but not I ain't. :)
Reply
:iconzoie-the-shadow:
zoie-the-shadow Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2012
lol
Reply
:iconzlaod:
Zlaod Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
Nominations for the Nobel Prize may be submitted to the Swedish Academy in Stockholm by 1 February. Any professor of language or literature may send nominations.
Reply
:iconriver-birch:
River-Birch Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
....I want to be that muffin.
Reply
:iconbronyponysayrus:
BronyPonySayrus Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Student Interface Designer
what did i just read ... did she just have an org@sm eating a muffin, pretending she was .... ........... .............. ew... eather this is a really good grimdark or a weird shipping
Reply
:iconbronyponysayrus:
BronyPonySayrus Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Student Interface Designer
ok i started 3rd par now im thinking wtf omg this is ... awkward......
Reply
:iconbronyponysayrus:
BronyPonySayrus Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Student Interface Designer
lol i just came here wondering whys some1 likeing derpy? LOL Mature Content Filter is On (contains: sexual themes) i mean WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? i thought this was just gonna be a love story not that kida story...SCORE!
Reply
:iconcresentbladedbrony:
CresentBladedBrony Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Wrong idea at first (So very wrong...) but mid-way through I picked up that there was a joke somewhere along the line.

You can almost imagine the shocked and disgusted expressions of onlookers as Derpy DEVOURS that muffin.... (It WAS a muffin, right?) Major lolz were lol'd.
Reply
:icontheharmonicdeviant:
TheHarmonicDeviant Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I was all CLOP CLOP CLOP...awww darnit... Oh I mean *cough* cute. I knew it was a muffin.....yeah...................
Reply
:iconxandersilverfang:
XanderSilverFang Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
pretty much xD
Reply
:iconsuperzorthax:
superZorthax Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
d
Reply
:iconiustus47:
Iustus47 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Oh god Lol :D
Reply
:iconknuckx117:
Knuckx117 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011
I... I'm not really sure what to say about this... I"m full of conflicting emotions, so I'll say this...

This made me go 'wtf' in a good way.
Reply
:iconroygbiv-mlp:
RoyGBiv-MLP Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
yay!
Reply
:iconaxquirix:
Axquirix Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2011
Ditzy Doo's obsession takes refuge in audacity, I see.
Reply
:iconthrevlin:
Threvlin Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Why do I want to favorite this so much?
...
Why can't I favorite this more?!?!
Reply
:iconaramis-dagaz:
Aramis-Dagaz Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
Meanwhile, Granny Smith is looking over to Mrs. Cake and saying "I'll have what she's having!"

After I got into this fandom, whenever I had a muffin I would feel a little happy because I would be reminded of our beloved Derpy Hooves. Now I'll feel a little dirty because I will be reminded of this hilarious vignette.
Reply
:iconwelldicks:
welldicks Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011
llololololol
Reply
:iconbrettfett74:
Brettfett74 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
I lol'd so hard i almost died! (thats a good thing :P)
Reply
:iconmagrior:
Magrior Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011
Also I saw it coming, it really made me laugh. Great Story :D

"The dirtier your mind is, the dirtier the story gets." That's so true
Reply
:iconwhispywillows:
WhispyWillows Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011
No, this is good and you should feel good. I guessed what the joke was going to be about halfway through, and I giggled my way through the rest. Well done.
Reply
:iconnekonekoibi:
NekoNekoIbi Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2011
Derpy... no one knows how deeply her insanity runs......no one understands, no one sees... the truth of what she is.
Reply
:iconvelosarahptor:
Velosarahptor Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2011
I heard about this one on Bronyville and just had to read it. Thanks for being my first Pony fic. Too funny and very awesome. :D
Reply
:iconawildfantasy:
awildfantasy Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011  Hobbyist
My Sergeant caught me reading this.

Now my platoon is gonna jump me in the middle of the night =(
Reply
:iconrockman08:
rockman08 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... WHAT?! THE FUCK DID I JUST READ ROY?!
Reply
:iconroygbiv-mlp:
RoyGBiv-MLP Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011
My insanity in written form...?
Reply
:iconrockman08:
rockman08 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I like it...
Reply
:iconmattythijs:
mattythijs Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011
Muffins are now my fetish.
Reply
:iconroygbiv-mlp:
RoyGBiv-MLP Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011
Kinky!
Reply
:icon00sasori:
00Sasori Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
Oh gawd you sir, have scarred me for life. I will never look at MLP the same way.
Reply
:icontakewalker:
TakeWalker Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
>This is bad, and I feel bad!

Funny, I was just going to suggest that. XD
Reply
:iconaragrist:
Aragrist Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Genius... pure genius.
Reply
:iconalphawolf180:
Alphawolf180 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
SHE EMPTIED MY FRIDGE!
Reply
:iconchakramstrike:
ChakramStrike Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011
Weirdest weird boner.
Reply
:iconalphawolf180:
Alphawolf180 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
I can clop to this.
Reply
:iconapeturetestsubject:
apeturetestsubject Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2011
I tip my hat to you sir. You just made muffins sexy. That's plain 100% crazy awesome.
Reply
:iconjrakob:
Jrakob Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I find this rather easy to clop to, espesaly if you stop reading about 2/3'ds the way through XD
Reply
:iconmagicaitrevor:
MagicaITrevor Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:XD: I KNEW that it was a muffin! XD Oh man... You're right! That IS bad, and now *I* feel bad! <_<"
Reply
:icongratlofatic:
Gratlofatic Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh man, yes.
Reply
:iconroygbiv-mlp:
RoyGBiv-MLP Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011
Is that good or bad...?
Reply
:icongratlofatic:
Gratlofatic Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Amazing :iconderpyclapplz:
Reply
:iconvalkyrie577:
Valkyrie577 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Me Gusta.
:iconmegustaplz:
Reply
:icong055:
G055 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011
thank you

for destroying the dreams of clop fic readers everywere
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Submitted on
March 9, 2011
File Size
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Mature Content
Yes
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