Celestia was ill
The night Nightmare Moon appeared
And told us of her plan.
And Lauren Faust was there
With a pencil in her hair,
And her show's bible said she had a plan!
Then something went wrong
While I was trying to write this song;
I got caught in a fourth-wall jam!
Then at a deadly pace
I saw the look on your face.
And this is how the story began...
At the fan-service.... Rarity Horror... Fashion Show...
The story begins with a rare event in Ponyville. A wedding. As the town hall's bell rang, all the ponies in town waited anxiously for the couple to finish signing the forms inside before Celestia. Then the doors began to open as all the ponies held their collective breaths... This silence ended with a deafening roar as the newly married couple. The mare and stallion wave to the cheering crowd; followed a few steps behind by Celestia herself smiling happily.
As the newly married couple climbed into her carriage for the traditional honeymoon in Canterlot, the bride pony lifts her bouquet high in the air. All the unmarried mares all clamored forward, each pushing and shoving to get the best position near the front. The bride let the bouquet fly into the air, but a gust of wind caught the flowers to cause it to fly towards the back of the mare mob... And in the back of the group an orange freckled pony with a blonde mane & tail leaps up to catch the bouquet in her muzzle. As disappointed groans and accusing glares filled the air, the mare tried her best to hide under her formal western hat.
The couple took to the air in the carriage, being pulled off to Canterlot by the armored pegasi. Celestia was announcing something to the gathered masses, followed by more cheering. But the orange pony could hear none of it. All the blood was rushing to her face, filling her ears with the rapid beating of her heart at realizing she had caught the bouquet... Equestria tradition stated it was up to her to be the next mare in Ponyville to be married.
It seemed like forever for the plaza to empty, ponies all gathered around for the longest time to discuss the wedding and celebrate. The orange pony kept waiting off to the side, still clutching the bouquet as if lost in a dream. As her eyes finally focus, under a nearby tree she sees a familiar sight. Leaning against the tree is her brother, a freckled crimson red stallion of a pony with orange mane. Yet, unlike most ponies, around his hooves are blonde streaks of hair. Dropping to all fours, he begins to trot over while chewing on a piece of straw. "Hey, Apple Jack?"
The female earth pony rises to her hind legs "Yeah, Big Mac?"
"Big McIntosh wipes the sweat from his brow nervously. "Well, I-ah... I really love the special way... You beat the other ponies to the bride's bouquet..." Suddenly, a chorus of Fluttershy's birds begin chirping a crescendo of music, but Big Mac just glares at them to stop the singing. "Well, ah... We should go grab the apple cart and take it over towards West Fillydelphia to sell them, I re'kon."
Applejack nodded sadly and kicks the dirt. "Sure as shootin', you're right. I guess I just got wrapped up in this girly stuff." Looking dejected, she follows her brother out of town to their farm.
A tan pony with brown mane & tail wearing a suit and bowtie motions for you to follow suddenly. "Oh, relax... I know I'm breaking fourth wall here..." he begins. "You see, I'm here to explain what is about to happen. Now, thanks to a timey-wimey, magic is friendship-ish thing, I'm a pony now. But I'm the Doctor, and I'm here to help."
The pony leads you into a blue box of some sort, the inside somehow is MUCH LARGER than on the outside.
Sitting down behind a desk, he pulls out a book and smiles. "Ah, here we go. Now I would like, if I may, to tell you a story. And you should listen, because stories are cool. Just like bowties are cool. And ponies. Ponies are now cool, too. But I digress..."
The Doctor opens the book and looks for refrences. "Hmmm, where is it... Ah, here we go! It seemed a rather ordinary day when Bic MacIntosh and his sister Applejack left Ponyville and their farm to deliver apples to West Fillydelphia. Shame about the storm clouds in the air. All heavy, black & just a complete mess. Those clouds are unbelievable! Some Pegasus ponies must be asleep on the job! But it was because of those clouds breaking out into a storm that the siblings had an evening they would remember for a very long time..."
As lightening crashes in the air, the scene shifts back to Applejack & Big Mac, the two ponies trying their hardest to drag the over-filled small cart in the whipping rain. As Applejack pushes from behind, Big Mac tries to yank from the front. But the cart refuses to budge. "Darnit all to turnation, big bro!" Applejack spits out. "Why'cha have ta' swerve all of the sudden! Now we're stuck in this here mud!"
Big Mac shrugs to himself and shifts the straw in his muzzle while giving another tug. "Whelp, I done told'cha there was a cat that ran out in the path." Applejack looks at the hopeless mess and sighs. "Well, we need to call and let our buyer know we're gonna be late. I re'kon I saw a castle back there a ways."
Her brother nodded softly as he unhitches himself from the covered cart. "Ayup. I'll just mosey along with you. In case there's trouble at that d'ere castle."
So the two ponies, with one last longing look at heir cart, began the trek through the forest and rain towards the castle. As they do, a door opens from between two trees to reveal the Doctor pony again.
"Oh, hello!" he begins. "It's been such a confusing day, hasn't it? Don't mind me. I can bounce around time and space at will with the power of timey whimey power. Anyhow, so Applejack & Big Mac ran off to the castle to get the help they needed.... OR DID THEY?"
The door closes, and the scene is now of Applejack & Big Mac trotting up a stone path to a creepy looking old castle with lights iside all aglow. The two earth ponies look at the imposing double doors with stone gryphons on either side. Both country earth ponies shrug to each other before Big Mac gives the doors a sharp knock with his left forehoof.
With a groan, a teal pegasus with a rainbow-hued mane peeks out, her faded tuxedo jacket illuminated by a flash of lightning from the storm as she lowers her gaze. "Hello." Her voice is a low monotone void of almost any emotion whatsoever.
The stallion offered his right hoof forward with a grin. "Howdy! I'm Big McIntosh, and this lil' mare is my sister, Applejack. 'Kin ya' help us? See, we were takin' some apples ta' market an' our cart broke down."
The pegasus just continued to stare, her wings fluttering softly as she looks between the pair of earth ponies. "You're wet."
AJ stepped forward with a nod as she stomped here forehoof on the stone steps. "Well, sure as shootin' we're wet! It's rainin' cats 'n dogs out here, I re'kon!"
The pegasus mearly nodded at the outburst calmly before licking her lips. "Mmm, perhaps you both better... Come inside?" She moved aside to allow the two earth ponies entrance with a low bow.
The pair slowly walk into the castle as Big Mac nods in thanks. "Well, that's right neighborly of y'all, I re'kon, lettin' us come in ta' dry off."
As the pair walk into the castle's foyer, the sounds of a wild party could be heard in the next room even behind its closed doors. The foyer was filled with several suits of pony armor as well as what looked to be a casket with a clock built into it. Finally, along the right wall, was a tall staircase that seemed to wind up the castle itself. Laying on the railing seemed to be a pink earth pony in a maid's uniform fast asleep.
Applejack trotted up to her brother and nudged him with her muzzle gently. "Ah' re'kon this here place ain't right for ponies like us."
Big Mac shook his head and gave a soft chuckle. "Ah, it's all right. It's pro'lly one of them there lodges some ponies belong to, like the Freeponies or some such!"
The front door slammed behind them before the teal pegasus trotted out from behind them in a slouching manner. Waving her left forehoof towards the pair of siblings, she gave a firm nod. "This way..."
As the brother and sister followed the pegasus, AJ gave a low cough to get the other mare's attention. "Ahem, Ah... Are y'all havin' a party?"
The teal pegasus gave a non-commital shrug as she continued to trot down the foyer. "You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the Mistress's shows..."
The blonde earth pony swallowed nervously before trying to let out a fake chuckle. "L-lucky her..."
Suddenly, from the banister, the pink pony dressed as a maid rises up, her mane flat and hanging over her right eye as she nickers out, "You're lucky, he's lucky, the whole CASTLE'S LUCKY! MWA-HA-HA-HA!" As she nickers out the beginnings of an insane cackle, lightning flashes outside while the casket clock begins to ring out the top of the hour.
The teal pony slides across the floor to the casket clock, her right hoof opening it to reveal a pony skeleton inside as she begins the oddest thing. She starts to sing as rock music fills the air! "It's astounding... Sanity is fleeting... Pinkamina... Has taken control... But listen closely...."
The pink earth pony slides down the banister as the teal pony sings, leaning against the pegasus back to back as she sings out in a dark, rage-filled voice. "Not for very much longer!"
The teal pony nods and poses with the pink pony, her forehooves crossed over her chest. "Now watch me, I'm on a roll!" The pegasus then zips into the air, her wings fluttering rapidly as a rainbow trail follows her. Whilst zipping loops and spirals in the air, she continues singing s her voice is suddenly filled with emotion and feeling. "I remember! Doing the Pony Clop! Laughing at those moments when! The shipping became daring! And even OCs came a'calling!"
As the pegasus zooms towards the double doors at the end of the foyer, the maid pony throws them open to reveal a huge party filled with ponies of all breeds, zebras and even Griffons dressed in the hight of fashions. As the doors are thrown open, the entire party looks towards the siblings as they call out, "LET'S DO THE PONY CLOP AGAIN!"
A blue box of some sort appears with a weird wooshing song as its door opens. Inside sits Doctor Whooves as he pulls down a chart filled with dance steps. "Oh, I know you bronies... You'll want to dance along to this. Well, I'm here to help you dance to it. You start with just a hop to the left..."
The gathered party then answers the good Doctor with a rousing chant of, "AND THEN A HOOF TO THE RIGHT!"
Leaping back a bit, the flustered Doctor coughs and shakes his head. "Sorry for that. You then put your hooves on one's hips..."
But before the tan pony can continue, the party drowns him out with another loud shout. "AND BRING YOUR FLANKS IN TIGHT!" The gathered party goers then begin to bump eachother, rump to rump, as they continue to sing at the top of their lungs. "But it's the sexy flank bumps that drive the shippers insa-a-a-a-a-ane! Let's do the Pony Clop again!"
Doctor Whooves fumes, crossing his hooves as he glares out his blue box. "You know what? Forget it! Do the rest of this song without me! I'll not be inturrupted!"
The blue box's door slams shut as the pink maid pony leans against the sibling pair singing in a husky tone. "Oh, it's so dreamy... Seeing you here with me... I must keep the want to make cupcakes... Under control... But listen closely... Not for very much longer... I promise Pinkamina will stay in control..."
The teal pegasus lands next to Pinkamina, grinding her rump against the pink pony's rump as she grins wickedly. "Mmm, with a bit of a flank shift... We can ride each other' hip... And dancing will never be the same..."
The pink pony's eyes roll back into her head as she lets out a cry of pleasure while singing, "Oh, yes! It's the greatest sensation! Like we're floating in a space station!"
The whole party then calls out at the same time, "Let's Do the Pony Clop Again!" As they sing, a computer tower is rolled out with a white filly with a curly purple-hued mane and tail sitting atop it. Lifting her head, a powerful voice began to ripple out of this small filly's muzzle. "Well I was surfing fanfics all week thinkin' most of 'em stink, When that guy RagingSemi gave me an evil wink! He picked-a me up, he took me by surprise! He had a beat up van with 'Free Cutie Marks' on the side! He showed me things an' I felt a change! Clop meant nothing, never would again!"
The whole party let out a cheer and began their erotic dance again, singing along as they did so. Whilst they did, the two siblings very slowly started to back up, a quite nervous look in their eyes. But then, as suddenly as the impromptu dance and song began, everyone fell to the floor shuttering and moaning. The siblings paused, looking at each other with a stunned look for a moment before Applejack shakes her head. "Big Mac, we need ta' get the buck outta this'n here place, like now."
The crimson-haired earth pony shook his head gently. "Aw, they're jus' dancin' an' mean no harm. I re'kon that dance might even be a bit o' fun ta' try with some of tha' mares here. 'Sides, we still need a phone ta' call our customer..."
A white unicorn wearing wearing a long purple sequined robe that matches her perfectly-maintained mane begins to descend in the cage elevator behind the retreating pair, it's right forehoof stomping to a slow beat as Applejack continues to freak out towards Big Mac. "Big Bro, this place sure ain't for normal ponies, an' it ain't for us!"
The pair start backing up the steps towards the slowly descending elevator as he chuckles softly. "Well, bein' we're two strong ponies, I rekon we'll fit in fine here for now. 'Sides, maybe they'll show us more of that their dancin' they be doin' here..."
The gathered ponies and griffons all chuckle as they watch the pair intently, yet also watch that elevator finally reach the ground. Applejack shakes her head as she gets more frantic. "I don't care two shakes of a bunny's tail, big bro! Safe or not, this place creeps me out! I'm cold an' I'm a bit frightened an'..." Suddenly Applejack's butt bumps the front of the elevator, causing the door to open and reveal the robed pony. The shock of seeing the white equine face causes Applejack to fall back against her brother as she lets out a blood curdling scream of shock.
The white pony mearly nods and begins walking out of the elevator as she begins to almost sing to Big Mac. "How do you do, I... See you've met my... Faithful... Weather Pony..." With that, the white pony waves a hoof towards the teal pegasus who nods wickedly. Nodding back towards Big Mac and the recovering Applejack, she continues. "She's a little distraught because... When you knocked... She thought you were the Apple Salesman!"
The white pony begins to trot into the main hall and up the red carpet, sashaying her hips as a DJ pony in the corner begins to spin a rock beat for her to enter to. All the collected ponies begin to part for her while she makes her way towards the regal chair in the center of the room. As she walks, she begins to call out over her shoulder to the shell-shocked pair. "Don't get strung out by the way we look! Don't judge a book by its cover... I'm not... Much of a unicorn by the light of day..." She reaches the the throne and whips around, the unicorn rising up to her hindhooves as she bats her eyes seductively. "But by night, I'm one hell of a lover..."
The unicorn then throws off her robe, the sequined robe falling over the throne to reveal the white equine is decked out in the most scandalous of undergarments! She is wearing a black silk halter top, matching black silk panties, black fishnets over her hindlegs with a garther belt, and what looks to be long sequined sleeves on her forelegs. On her flanks is her cutie mark of three diamonds. Licking her lips, she poses to the assembled group while tossing back her mane teasingly. "I'm just a sweet fashionsta from metrosexual Fillydelphia, ha-ha!"
Leaping down to all fours, she begins to make the rounds in the group, shaking hooves with the assembled ponies as one mumbles out, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mistress Rarity!"
Turning her head, to peer at the pair, she gives a playful wink. Big Mac, taking the cue, trots a bit closer as Applejack slowly follows. "I'ma glad we caught you at home... Kin' we use yer' phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry..." Applejack just nods dumbly in agreement as her brother continues. "We'll just stay where we are an' then go back to our cart... We don't wanna be any worry."
The unicorn suddenly turns, facing them as her smile widens. "Well, you got caught with a flat trying to dodge some poor cat! Well babies, don't you panic! By Luna's bright moonlight, we'll all see right... I'll get you a specialized mechanic!" The pony walks back over to the chair and lays across it on her back, the pegasus pony moved to stand by her head, the pink earth pony stood by the unicorn's legs and helped prop them up. Finally, the white filly unicorn settled atop the chair and stared forward with an almost predatory look.
The unicorn just smiles, licking her muzzle lips again as she grins at the pair. "Why don't you... Stay for the night? Or maybe... a 'bite'? I could show you my favorite... obsession? I've been making a stallion... With blonde mane like a champion... And he's good for relieving my... tensions."
The unicorn slowly stands up, the earth pony and pegasus on either side staring lustfully at the unicorn as they rub their hooves together. As the unicorn rises, she almost purrs out the words, "Mmmm, I'm just a sweet fashionista... Ah, check me out! From metrosexual... Fillydelphia! Hit it! Hit it!" The trio of ponies begin to all three shaking their hips in time as the unicorn continues to sing in her sultry tone. "I'm just a sweet fashionista from metrosexual Fillydelphia, ha-ha!"
Dropping to all fours, the unicorn trots over towards the elevator and rests inside it. Turning, she looks at the siblings and licks her lips. "So, come up to my shop... And show me how you clop... I can see you both shiver with antici.... pation! But maybe the rain isn't really to blame... Heh... So my servants will dry you before the next song selection!"
The elevator slams shut, the scandoulously-dressed unicorn rising up into the air as the party members all clap. The two siblings just look about bewildered as the party filters out of the hall... Before their vision is covered by two towels. The pink maid and the teal pegasus start rubbing them all over with the towel as the young filly nickers in delight. "Oooh, slowly! Slowly! It's too fun a job to rush!"
As his eyes become visible to his surroundings again, Big Mac tries to offer a hoof forward. "Ah, thank ya' kindly. I'm Big Mac, an' this here is my sister Applejack. What's y'all's names now?"
The young filly shrugs non-commitally as she lets out a giggle. "Mmm, you're both pretty lucky to be invited up to my sister Rarity's work shop! Some designers would give their right hoof to see it!"
AJ shakes out her now dry mane as she blinks. "Whut, ponies like you maybe?"
The filly lets out a quick laugh. "Ha! I've seen it!" With that, she begins pushiung the pair towards the now re-lowered elevator with the other two servants. As the door closes, AJ looks towards the pink maid pony curiously. "Ah, um... Are you'n that there Rarity together?" The pink pony just begins to laugh at the comment as the teal pegasus interjects. "The Mistress is not yet married, nor do we thing she ever will be... We are merely her... Slaves..."
The rickety elevator continues up the castle until finally revealing a large sewing room. Around the back wall stands all of the party guests and in the center of the room stands the adult white unicorn in a designer lab coat, if there were such a thing. As the door opens, the group slowly trots out as the unicorn nods slowly.
"Pinkamina!" The maid pony steps out of the group and salutes at the call of her name. "Sweetie Belle!" The young filly also steps aside and salutes the adult white unicorn as well. "Go and assist Rainbow Dash while I entertain..."
Big Mac trots forward and offers his right hoof. "Ah'm Big Mac, and this here is my sister, Applejack."
The unicorn mare smile, shaking the hoof as she licks her lips. "Enchant' Well, how nice. And such a perfect specimen of Stallionhood you are, Big Mac, was it? Why, Applejack, you must be awfully proud of him..."
The blonde earth pony shrugs and chuckles. "Well, Big Mac here is'n the best apple bucker this side of Equestria, so I guess I am!" As she chuckles nervously, the teal pegasus named by the unicorn as Rainbow Dash slides up and nudges the adult unicorn. "Everything is in readiness, Mistress Rarity. We mearly await your orders."
Nodding towards the siblings, the unicorn trots to before a box of sorts covered by a white sheet. Throwing back her head, she calls out, "Tonight! My unconventional fashionistas! You shall witness a new breakthrough in Matchmaking Research! It was strange when it happened... I was pondering how to find the stallion of my dreams when suddenly, a light bulb went off! IDEA! What a fool! The answer was right there in front of me! If I can't find the perfect man, I'll just brainwash one! And that's when I realized I could just use the love from Spike and put it into Prince Blueblood to make the ultimate lover!"
Gripping the sheet, she pulls it away to reveal a purple dragon and a white stallion with a flowing blonde mane both strapped to tables with some sort of metal bowls with wires running into them covering each head. Pointing at the pegasus, the unicorn suddenly shouts out, "Throw open the switch to the sonic friendship cannon!"
As the teal pegasus starts throwing switches, the unicorn gleefully begins to cackle. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! And step up the powerr input THREE MORE TRIANGLES!" The stallion and the dragon become illumonated with a blinding white light as the siblings cover their eyes to protect from the sight.
As the light finally dims, the bindings holding the stallion open and he groggily slides himself off the table. The unicorn with the flowing blonde mane stares at the unicorn mare before smiling. "Mistress Rarity, have I told you how much I love you?"
Clutching her forehooves to her chest, the unicorn mare lets out another laugh! "Ah, it works! Pinkamina! You can deal with Spike in your own way! I have a honeymoon to attend!" The two unicorns begin to trot off into a secret boudoir as the maid pony gleefully wheels the still bound dragon out the door.
While all this happens, the blue box appears once more as the doctor waves from behind his desk. "Sorry, things got all confusing there for a bit! If this is all too scary, you can just tell youself that it is all an illusion! If that is true, then Applejack and Big Mac are both quite safe!" The Doctor then lean forward, his usually smiling visage taking on a glower. "However... With the departure of Mistress Rarity and the kidnapped Prince of Equestria to their lover's nest... Both siblings began to feel aprehensive and uneasy as they were both shown to their seperate rooms."
The doors to the blue box close once more, as a television screen flickers alight to show Rainbow Dash and Pinkamina watching intently. The pink earth pony with the straight mane offers a bowl of popcorn towards the pegasus who grabs a hoof full with a grin.
Meanwhile, on the TV set, the video shows a large poster bed in a bedroom with the curtains drawn. In the shadow of the curtains can be seen Applejack trying to sleep. The door opens and the two ponies can see their Mistress Rarity sneak into the room. "Ooooh, this is gonna be an awesome prank, Pinkamina! Rarity thinks she's going into Prince Blueblood's room!"
The pink pony nods rapidly as she chomps a huge hoof full of popcorn. "I know, Dash. Just wait until she sees it's really that country pony's room!"
The teal pegasus then points with her hooves. "Oooh, look! They both just found out! Look at 'em arguing and fighting!"
Pinkamina stares at the screen, then taps Dash's shoulder. "Um, hon...? That's not wrestling..."
Rainbow Dash waves it off. "Of course it is! See? That country-fied just pinned Mistress Rarity down... And now she's looking her in the eyes... And now her muzzle... Is going lower... And now AJ's... Yelling between Rarity's flanks!? Oh, com on now!"
The teal pegasus storms out of the room suddenly and down the hall. Walking to a door marked 'writer'. she starts banging her hoof angrily on the door until it finally opens with a click. Sitting at an old typewriter sits a black unicorn stallion with a faded rainbow mane. From his muzzle dangles a lit cigarette as he looks up from his typing. "Yes, Dash? Can I help you?"
The pegasus zips forward, looking eye to eye with the unicorn stallion as she huffs. "Really? Yuri shipping? You were doing such a great job until that point, Roy! It was funny and yet canon! Why did you make AJ and Rarity start having sex?"
The black unicorn shrugs, drawing in on his cigarette before using his magic to flick the ashes. "Rainbow Dash, it's a fanfic! A crappy fanfic! It's not supposed to make sense! Besides, I told them to just have a fight! They're the ones who went off script, not me!"
From the corner, in rolls Twilight Sparkle in a wheel chair, the purple unicorn wearing a blanket over her lap as she fumes. "At least you all get lots of screen time! I don't show up until the very end because I play Doctor Sparkle!"
The blue box opens its doors as Doctor Whoof pokes his head out. "Did you call me, Twilight?"
Twilight facehooves and sighs. "No, I didn't Doctor. I said I was playing a Doctor!"
Pinkamina pokes her head into the room and gasps! "Oooh, are we having a cast party in here?"
The black unicorn looks over and sighs deeply. "No, Pinkie, we're just discussing what to do about AJ & Rarity going off script and having sex!"
Pinkie Pie lets out a giggle, her straight hair poofing back up to its regular style as she grins. "Oooh, that's nothing! You should see what Big Mac an' Fluttershy are doing, and Fluttershy isn't even IN this movie!"
The unicorn coughs loudly, his cigarette falling from his muzzle tip as he fumes. "WHAT!?" Spinning in his chair, he turns on a monitor before changing the channel to Big Mac's room. As he watches, Roy's face begins to pale as he starts to whimper. "My male ego... Ruined... By a damn cartoon!"
Rainbow Dash leans onto the unicorn's left side as she shakes her head. "Damn, no wonder why Fluttershy always walks funny. That's gotta hurt!"
Pinkie Pie leans on the unicorn's right as she grins. "Wow, he really IS Big McIntosh!" A weird noise can be heard behind the pair as they all three turn to see Twilight Sparkle and Doctor Whooves both clopping.
At this final broach of OC-ness, the black unicorn throws up his hooves. "That's it! That's it! We're getting too silly! We need to end this story!"
Sweetie Belle trots into the room and pouts. "Aw, but I still have my stage number to do!"
The unicorn turns and smiles to the filly. "Yes, but now you don't die."
The filly ponders for a moment, then gives a quick nod. "Okay, go ahead an' end it! I forgot to study the lines for my death scene anyhow!"
The black unicorn sighs deeply. "Oy, vey... How did this story get so screwed up so fast?"
"THAT WOULD BE ME!" The loud female voice could be heard as a curtain is pulled away, revealing a brown unicorn mare with blonde, orange and tan streaks in her mane and tail. Twirling a villain mustache, she giggles wickedly. "It is I, Butterscotch Sundae! Come to take my revenge on you Roy for using me and my creations as convenient plot devices! Just like you're doing right now!"
The black stallion unicorn bangs his head onto the desk before sighing. "That's it! It's now officially too silly! Story's over, I can't write any more!"
The tan unicorn blinks and gives a pouting face. "But, I wanted to see how it ends!"
The black unicorn shrugs. "Rocks fall, everypony dies."
Sweetie Belle blinks. "But that makes no sense!"
Roy glowers. "ROCKS FALL! EVERYPONY DIES!"
And suddenly rocks fall and everypony dies.
P.S. But because they're all ponies, they all survive and live crazily ever after. Except for Doctor Whooves & Twilight Sparkle who were forced to join Cloppers Anonymous, and Fluttershy who once again had trouble walking for a week, and finally Rarity & Applejack who still to this day deny they did anything at all behind closed doors.